Home Republicans Ain’t Investigatin’ Stolen Trump Docs, What Half Of Hunter Baaah-den You Ain’t Get?

GOP Rep. James Comer, the Kentucky hayseed cornfuck on monitor to develop into chairman of the highly effective Home Oversight Committee, says it “won’t be a precedence” in Congress subsequent 12 months to research how Donald Trump stole America’s most intently guarded secrets and techniques, stuffed them approach up excessive into the stickiest components of his armpits, and took them again to Mar-a-Lago so he might cover them underneath Don Jr.’s spare swim trunks and floaties within the storage shed by the swimming pool.

You already know, in case you had been considering Comer may make {that a} precedence. Sorry, Charlie. He would not care about that. He instructed CNN he would not “become involved in a variety of the drama from the final administration.”

What drama does he become involved in, then?

Nicely, as he closely breathed to reporters the opposite day, CAN WE KEEP THIS FOCUSED ON HUNTER BAAAAAH-DEN? HE WON’ TALK ‘BOUT HUNTER BAAAAAH-DEN! THIS IS KIND OF A BIG DEAL, WE THINK! IT’S HUNTER BAAAAAH-DEN!

It is related as a result of Oversight has an ongoing investigation into Trump’s stolen state secrets and techniques. So, a lot as we think about that the Home January 6 Choose Committee investigation into the Trump-incited terrorist assault towards America will likely be changed by a committee to research the psychic QAnon visions Marjorie Taylor Greene divines in her fart clouds, Oversight’s present investigations will morph into … one thing else. Most likely an investigation into the investigation into Trump’s stolen state secrets and techniques!

All this leads us into a fast Thanksgiving week replace on how little maybe-incoming-Speaker Kevin McCarthy needs to be grateful for this 12 months. His good mind? Haha. His face? Nothing to jot down house about. His loyalty from Home Republicans, which will certainly assuredly finish with him being speaker of the Home? Yeah, nonetheless dangerous information.

Reasonable Home Republicans are whispering to Politico that they aren’t enthused concerning the thought of Comer and his fellow fool Jim Jordan, who will run the Judiciary Committee, doing their paste-eating grandstanding investigations into no matter omens about Hunter Biden they learn within the squirrel turds they discover on the Nationwide Mall. Particularly these Home Republicans who signify districts Joe Biden gained. It is various them, maybe 16 to 18 by the point all of the votes are performed being counted.

These individuals additionally don’t need to be related to the impeachment investigations Marjorie Taylor Greene needs to start out. How embarrassing.

It is sensible, since not even three out of 10 People need to see Hunter Biden investigations, or impeachment investigations, which suggests actually all regular People are about to attempt to begin tuning out these dumb hillbilly Republican congressional rednecks. No person offers a fuck.

So right here comes Kevin McCarthy, attempting to faux he will throw pink meat to the Home Clownfucking Caucus by kicking Eric Swalwell, Adam Schiff, and Ilhan Omar off their committees. And the loons are barking at him about canceling support to Ukraine, however from the sounds of extra grownup Republicans interviewed this week on the Halifax Worldwide Safety Discussion board, each from the Home and the Senate, Ukraine’s gonna get the cash Joe Biden asks for.

So how does McCarthy pull all these competing factions collectively into one thing that resembles a governing caucus that may vote to make him speaker? Based on Tara Palmeri at Puck Information, the Republicans she’s speaking to are saying McCarthy solely has a couple of 50 % likelihood of changing into speaker at this level, with these odds dropping daily. So perhaps the reply is that he would not.

And what would occur then? Might there actually be a state of affairs the place average Republicans group up with Democrats to discover a speaker they’ll all dwell with whose title is not Kevin McCarthy and who will not even authorize a million Hunter Biden investigations?

We would say it is unlikely, however by no means underestimate the capability of right this moment’s Republicans to be simply monumental fuckups.

Comfortable Thanksgiving, Kevin McCarthy! Gobble gobble, motherfucker!

Observe Evan Hurst on Twitter proper right here!

And if that does not exist, I am additionally giving issues a go on the Mastodon (@evanhurst@newsie.social) and at Put up!

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