Ron DeSantis Takes Brave Stand Against Drag Queen Christmas Boobies At The Miami Hyatt

What is going on on with Ron DeSantis and his ugly, misbegotten state?

Effectively, this week he is been making an attempt to point out us how severe he’s about working for president, by demonstrating for Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, and Vladimir Putin that he might be simply as a lot of a Russian stooge as them.

And his administration is engaged on the house entrance, having a pissy little poopypants fascist mood tantrum on the Hyatt in Miami for having a drag present. It was known as “A Drag Queen Christmas,” and it’s affiliated with RuPaul’s outfit. It’s in fact the coverage of the DeSantis administration to shake its tailfeathers and have a complete cow any time there is a threat of a kid discovering out they do not must be repressed, insecure white Christian fascists once they develop up.

Insider studies that the Florida Division of Southern Baptist Karens Enterprise and Skilled Regulation filed a criticism towards the Hyatt’s live performance venue, which let minors in to the enjoyable Christmas present so long as they had been accompanied by adults. “A Drag Queen Christmas” is in fact not a sexual strip present, and never a groomers exhibition. Which means that when you really feel sexed or groomed by it, then in line with science you’re a most likely a full-grown conservative Republican Christian man who most likely secretly desires to bone drag queens.

The state’s enterprise division accused the Miami venue of a number of violations, together with a prohibition of “lascivious exhibition” earlier than individuals youthful than 16, although it isn’t clear to what extent this regulation is usually enforced.

Lascivious exhibition, oh myyyyyyyyy!

The division stated performers had been “sporting sexually suggestive clothes and prosthetic feminine genitalia,” in addition to simulating masturbation.

We’re going to exit on a limb right here and counsel that the prudes and cultural shut-ins who work within the DeSantis administration won’t be A+ college students at figuring out “prosthetic feminine genitalia” or “simulating masturbation.”

Besides wait, they’re actually speaking concerning the pretend boobies drag queens typically put on. We all know how excitable the conservatives are in relation to boobies.

The criticism, which is posted at Insider, is an absolute hoot. It simply goes on and on and on about each naughty factor that offended these allegedly full-grown mature adults on the liquor licensing board.

It says the present featured “performers forcibly penetrating or rubbing their uncovered prosthetic feminine breasts towards the faces or oral cavities of viewers members.” Hate it when drag queens forcibly penetrate your oral cavities with their pretend boobies.

It says they “deliberately” confirmed their pretend boobies and faux different genitals and actual buttockses to the viewers. Additionally? “Graphic depictions of childbirth and/or abortion.” Positive factor, positively a part of drag exhibits.

It says there have been movies of “uncovered feminine breasts with lower than a totally opaque overlaying.”

It says the drag queens even desecrated sacred kids’s Christmas songs. Throughout “All I Need For Christmas Is My Two Entrance Enamel,” a drag queen urged Santa put his milk and cookies “all between my hole!” And through “Screwdolph the Purple-Nosed Reindeer,” they stated the reindeer had been known as “Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Vomit and Silly and Dildo and Dicks-in!”

And Screwdolph had NIPPLES.

Did you need the Church Girl regulating your leisure decisions? Effectively you bought it, Florida.

They’re citing an entire passel of legal guidelines that prohibit issues like “lewd and lascivious exhibition” to minors beneath 16, claiming the drag queens had been exposing their genitals. Once more, they’re decoding pretend boobies and butts as “genitalia.” And since they’re humorless, joyless fucking dorks, they’re decoding the silliness of drag as pornography.

We might additionally word that for a bunch of mendacity bastards who’re at all times swearing up and down that their assaults on LGBTQ+ individuals are merely to guard “parental rights,” they’re certain stepping on the authority of any cool mother and father who determined their children are mature sufficient to chuckle on the humorous Christmas drag present.

Insider studies the choice is not closing, and that the Hyatt has 21 days to request a listening to. Right here is the poopypants pissy-ass assertion from DeSantis’s workplace:

“Sexually express content material is just not applicable to show to kids and doing so violates Florida regulation,” Bryan Griffin, DeSantis’ press secretary, advised Insider. “Governor DeSantis stands up for the innocence of kids within the classroom and all through Florida.

Once more, for all regular individuals studying this, these homeschool dropouts are speaking a few drag queen Christmas present.

Equality Florida had the correct questions:

“How far will [DeSantis] take this anti-LGBTQ campaign in his determined try and outrace his inevitable presidential major opponents? Will he raid film theaters as a result of mother and father take their youngsters to see R-rated films? Will he punish electronics shops as a result of mother and father purchase their kids sure video video games? What number of companies will DeSantis goal, what number of households will he pressure to co-parent with the federal government in his quest to fabricate proper wing hysteria that he can monetize and weaponize?” requested Brandon Wolf, a spokesman for the group.

That is manufactured outrage. These never-nude ghouls are pretending drag is a few new phenomenon they’re exposing, when the truth is it is existed eternally. Anyone from a rightwing publication went to the present, made a stink about it on Twitter, and now DeSantis is shaking his peener on the Hyatt, and shaking his peener at different venues across the state, similar to he is been shaking his peener at Mickey Mouse so graphically that we actually assume Mickey ought to name the cops.

Barring that, Disney and Hyatt and all different firms may simply go away the state and take their tax income with them and go away DeSantis and his secure of white supremacist retirees to fall into the ocean by themselves every time it decides to swallow them up.

Que sera.


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