Why Putin Is Praying His MAGA Boys Take Congress This November.

There is a lot of Russia news today, and it’s all of the “Vladimir Putin is cornered and losing, and this is what Vladimir Putin does when he’s cornered and losing” variety.

In a move that may not play well with his people, Putin is calling up some 300,000 reservists; it’s not a full draft but does expose a Russian genocide effort that’s been battered by losses at the hands of the good guys. (It also might take a bit of time to get them up and running, according to the analysts.) We say it may not play well with his people because Putin’s hold on power requires as little buy-in from the Russian people as possible. He wants them apathetic. (For more on that, read the latest Timothy Snyder.) He wants them watching “The Great Russian Borscht Making Contest.” He wants them riding the dumb fucking Ferris wheel he built as a gift for his people which broke down after one day, literally while Russian troops were running away from Ukraine with their tails stuck all the way up inside their butts.

(Imagine how brokedick your country gotta be for the president to build you a Ferris wheel that doesn’t work. “There is nothing like that in Europe,” Putin boasted. Not sure if a team of Russian scientists then unveiled “funnel cake” or “booth for win stuffed Russian bear!” but maybe.)

In Putin’s whiny angry address to his nation this morning, he yelled at the West for supporting Ukraine, and he bragged about his big modern Russian weapons, which we are sure probably work better than “Ferris wheel.”


“To those who allow themselves such statements about Russia, I want to remind you that our country also has various means of destruction, and some components are more modern than those of the NATO countries,” he said.

Putin also spoke of upcoming (fake) referenda in Ukrainian territories annexed (stolen) by Russia — in the East, Donetsk and Luhansk, and in the South, Kherson and Zaporizhzhia — where people will vote (“vote”) to say they love Russia and want to be part of it. After that, the theory goes, any attack on those regions is an attack on Russia (not Russia).

Putin wants us all to know that he ain’t bluffin’.

“If the territorial integrity of our country is threatened, we will certainly use all the means at our disposal to protect Russia and our people,” he said. “This is not a bluff.”

Some are calling all these angry words “veiled” nuclear threats, though they don’t seem very “veiled” to us.

In response, Ukraine said “oh fuck off,” or however you say it in Ukrainian. (Вбирайся! according to Google Translate!) The New York Times calls Ukraine’s reaction “dismissive and mocking.” For example:

Mykhailo Podolyak, an adviser to President Volodymyr Zelensky, said Mr. Putin’s remarks reflected the Russian leader’s desperation on the 210th day of a war that he had vowed would be brief and limited.

“Russians who demanded the destruction of Ukraine ended up getting: Mobilization. Closed borders, blocking banking accounts. Prison for desertion,” Mr. Podolyak said. “Everything is still according to the plan, right?”

Saucy! And then:

“Referendums and mobilization in the Russian Federation will not have any consequences, except for accelerating the collapse and revolution in Putin’s Russia,” said Oleksiy Arestovych, an adviser to Ukraine’s president, Volodymyr Zelensky.

Another government official, Anton Gerashchenko, an adviser to Ukraine’s Interior Ministry, said, “I think Russia is headed toward its own 1917,” which is VERY TEASING WORDS if you know anything about Russian history or have seen any of the film versions of Anastasia and think that makes you an expert.

Zelenskyy, in his address to his own nation last night, called any fake Putin votes a “sham.” Additionally:

“We enjoy the full support of our partners in this,” Mr. Zelensky said. “So let’s maintain the pressure. Let’s preserve unity. Let’s defend Ukraine. We are liberating our land. And we are not showing any signs of weakness.”

In his speech to the United Nations on Wednesday morning, President Joe Biden pointedly said that Russia’s war was “about extinguishing Ukraine’s right to exist as a state.” He assailed Putin’s “irresponsible nuclear threats” and said “We will stand in solidarity to Russia’s aggression.”

So as we said, a lot of Russia news, and a lot of solidarity among the good people of the world to see this through. But at the same time, a weak and cornered Vladimir Putin is scary as hell.

Would be a shame if anything happened in November and America’s enemies/Putin’s allies were to tip the balance of power and threaten America’s ability to provide aid.

Who can turn this around for Putin? MAGA fascist shitweasels could help!

Oh what’s that, Democratic Senator Chris Murphy?

There’s a lot at stake for America in November’s midterms. And there’s a lot at stake for Ukraine too. And Putin knows it.

In a Washington Post interview, Murphy says aid for Ukraine could go away if the MAGA fascists win either the House or the Senate, but that the House is the biggest danger. Greg Sargent and Paul Waldman note that Senate Republicans are generally pretty good on funding for Ukraine — the Biden administration is currently asking for $12 billion more — but think if the goons take over in the House, you can probably kiss that goodbye after January. They point to Defense News, which reports that current House Republican leadership won’t commit to funding for Ukraine in the event of a GOP takeover. Formerly traditional Republican organs like Heritage Action are now telling congressmen to vote against aid for Ukraine. More and more of them are listening, including 57 who voted against aid for Ukraine in May.

All of which means the openly declared enemies of Ukraine aren’t quite the outliers they used to be:

More from Murphy:

“I think there’s a real risk that the continuing resolution will be the last time we supply funding to Ukraine,” Murphy said, noting that this is more of a threat in the House, because its members are more beholden to Trump. […]

“The MAGA wing of the party, which is the dominant wing, says and thinks a lot of nice things about Putin,” Murphy said to us.

You think Putin might have baked into his timeline some ideas about how if he can just hobble through to January, the Biden administration might have to sing a different tune on helping Ukraine, if some of Putin’s allies have taken over part of Congress?

Besides, as Putin’s best boy Tucker Carlson said a few weeks ago, just before the weekend when Ukraine started just absolutely annihilating Russia and reclaiming territory, “By any actual reality-based measure, Vladimir Putin is not losing the war in Ukraine. He is winning the war in Ukraine.”

Surely Putin’s boys in America could help him turn all this around if he can just hold on until next year, yeah?

“The Ukrainians are making serious progress and are likely to continue to make progress into next year,” Murphy told us. “If Republicans win the House, and word starts to leak out that they’re done funding Ukraine, that has potentially catastrophic impacts on Ukrainian morale and their ability to carry the fight.”

Sounds like Putin’s goal to us. Bet your ass.

[New York Times / Washington Post]

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